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Speaker 1

00:03

-♪ ♪ If you've been near a television recently, you've learned exactly 1 thing. The midterm elections are upon us.

Speaker 2

00:11

2 days to go before the midterm elections. All eyes are on them.

Speaker 3

00:14

The big question, really the only question, do the Democrats hold on to the majority?

Speaker 2

00:18

Can Republicans take control of the U.S. Senate?

Speaker 4

00:21

Bottom line here is, this is, as we say it every time, 1 of the most important elections in American history. Oh, but I'm serious this time.

Speaker 1

00:29

Take your American history books, burn them in the streets, they're worthless after Tuesday. Why, the Senate is up for grabs. I repeat, the fucking Senate is up for grabs!

Speaker 1

00:40

All this crazy attention on congressional races is a little strange for 1 important reason.

Speaker 5

00:46

This Congress, with Republicans in charge of the House and Democrats in charge of the Senate, is on track to be the least productive in history.

Speaker 1

00:55

This Congress is shaping up to be the least productive in history, although to be fair, Congress is like jazz. It's really about the bills it's not passing. It's also like jazz in that most people hate it, and anyone who says they don't are lying.

Speaker 1

01:09

Now, and the Senate is likely to remain inactive no matter which party controls it after Tuesday. So why all this attention on the national level, where almost nothing is happening, when down at the local level, everything is happening? That's right, tonight we're gonna talk about the elections that actually matter on Tuesday, the ones for state legislatures. And look, I know it can be hard to take candidates for state houses seriously, partly because of their ridiculous ads.

Speaker 5

01:35

Senator Chuck Cogan is fighting for you in Richmond.

Speaker 1

01:37

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪

Speaker 6

01:38

I could stand here and tell you how I was born on a poultry farm.

Speaker 5

01:41

Together, we can make West Virginia's economy take off. -♪ ♪ -♪ -♪ ♪ Now...

Speaker 1

01:47

That's a great ad, and I'll tell you why. Because you just inherently trust a guy who wanders around in public with a bird on his hand. Drape a snake around his shoulders, you've got yourself a president right there.

Speaker 1

02:00

In Montana, 1 candidate has an ad running declaring his belief in the Constitution over a shot of the Declaration of Independence, and what appears to be a photo of an old man stabbing a small child to death with a flag. That's a compelling image, yes, but I don't know if you want to use it for a political campaign. The other problem is, whenever you do hear about state legislatures, it's usually because something crazy has happened. Like a fist fight between 2 old men in the Alabama Senate, or a Florida state senator looking at topless photos during an abortion debate, or this California assemblyman discussing his sex life into a live microphone.

Speaker 5

02:39

I'm in Kevin's spanker. You are? Yeah.

Speaker 5

02:44

Yeah. I'm spanking him to be honest. You're like a very good man. That's because you're such a bad girl.

Speaker 5

02:49

I... I don't know.

Speaker 1

02:53

Well... It's not really a surprise that you made that mistake with a microphone. You don't seem like someone who can tell whether something's turned on or not. And...

Speaker 1

03:02

And even... Even when lawmakers are doing their jobs, things can actually get worse.

Speaker 7

03:10

A Florida lawmaker is pushing forward tonight with his plan to repeal a ban on dwarf tossing.

Speaker 5

03:16

I've spoken to doctors and lawyers and CFOs that are little people. They can make their own decision. And this state said, no, you can't.

Speaker 5

03:22

We'll make it for you.

Speaker 1

03:23

Okay. Individual rights aside, let's all just agree that if it happened in the Wolf of Wall Street, it should not be legal. And of course, sometimes you'll hear about state legislators because of something insane they've said, like Sally Kern from Oklahoma.

Speaker 7

03:40

Is this just because they're black, that they're in prison? Or could it be because they didn't want to work hard in school. And white people oftentimes don't want to work hard in school, or Asians oftentimes.

Speaker 7

03:51

But a lot of times, that's what happens. I taught school for 20 years, and I saw a lot of people of color who didn't want to work as hard, they wanted it given to them.

Speaker 1

04:03

Look, Sally, if you're going to be that racist in public, there's really no need for you to use the term -"people of color." -$PEOPLE OF COLOR -$PEOPLE OF COLOR $PEOPLE OF COLOR African Americans are not listening to everything you just said there, going, -"Lazy? Hey! In prison?

Speaker 1

04:15

Hey! People of color? Well, that is nice. That balances it out.

Speaker 1

04:19

That's basically clear now. And she's not the only 1 in the Oklahoma House speaking her crazy mind.

Speaker 6

04:27

I said Islam was a cancer that needed to be cut out of American society. And I stand by that. I still think that.

Speaker 6

04:34

And I will not back down or change my mind.

Speaker 1

04:38

I do not doubt that. The phrase, Islam is a cancer, is not usually associated with people who are open to new ideas or arguments. The point is, is it any wonder state legislators are perceived as circuses when they give us footage like this.

Speaker 5

04:53

These damn bills are coming out here all the damn time! Come out here at the last second, and I gotta try to figure out how to vote for my people! I'm sick of it!

Speaker 5

05:04

Every year! Enough! I feel like somebody trying to be released from Egypt. Let my people go!

Speaker 5

05:12

-♪ Let my people go! -♪ Oh, yeah! Look,

Speaker 1

05:17

if... If Moses had said, let my people go like that, I'm pretty sure Pharaoh would have said, fine, Moses, I'll let them go! Just calm the fuck down! Look, State legislatures are hilarious.

Speaker 1

05:33

There's only 1 problem. Increasingly, they're the places where most legislation is actually taking place. So far this session, Congress has passed just 185 laws. State legislatures have passed more than 24,000.

Speaker 1

05:48

I'm starting to realize why that guy was getting so angry. I'd hit a bill, too, if I knew there were 24,000 of them. There's too many! It's too many!

Speaker 1

05:58

It's too many bills! And look, look. Look. Sean, some of those bills were meaningless.

Speaker 1

06:06

Like Missouri declaring jumping jacks their official state exercise. --AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CHEERS, APPLAUSE- Incidentally, New York's official state exercise? Kegels. --AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CHEERS, APPLAUSE- Kegels.

Speaker 1

06:21

But look, look, not all state laws are so silly. Some have profound impact. Legislatures are sometimes called the laboratories of democracy, and sometimes their experiments are great, like raising the minimum wage like these states have done, or overturning bans on gay marriage like these. But other times, state laws can go a different way.

Speaker 3

06:41

Between 2011 and 2013, individual States passed more than 200 abortion restrictions, more than the entire previous decade.

Speaker 1

06:51

That's right. In fact, a law which passed in Mississippi is so restrictive, it could close the 1 remaining abortion clinic they have in the entire state. Meaning a Mississippi woman right now could be saying to herself, I need to go someplace more progressive, like Alabama.

Speaker 1

07:07

-♪ Alabama, Alabama, Alabama... ♪ -State houses do a huge amount of work while no 1 is watching, from abortion, to gun control, to environmental legislation. And yet, admit it, you probably don't know who your state legislator is. Which means all those conspiracy theories about a shadow government are actually true.

Speaker 1

07:25

Only, it's not a group of billionaires meeting in a mountain lair in Zurich. It's a bunch of pasty bureaucrats meeting in a windowless committee room in Lansing, Michigan. So, we took a look at state legislatures this week, and the first surprising thing was that no 2 are alike. Because just as each state has a treasured regional cuisine, from Maryland's Chesapeake Blue Crabs to Florida's half a Cubano sandwich wrestled away from a dirty pelican.

Speaker 1

07:51

Each... Each state... Each state has its own way of governing. For a start, they range wildly in size, from 49 lawmakers in Nebraska to 424 in New Hampshire.

Speaker 1

08:04

424! Sparta fended off Persia with only 300 people. And for some reason, New Hampshire needs 424 to issue a f**king leafy stamp! And...

Speaker 1

08:17

And while some operate year-round, others are very much part-time. Utah, for instance, has just 1 45-day session per year. That's not a congress, that's a summer camp. Except instead of eating s'mores and throwing sticks at possums, They're passing laws restricting a woman's right to choose and throwing sticks at possums.

Speaker 1

08:36

-♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ But whether they're full-time or part-time, there is 1 thing most state houses have in common, a shocking lack of oversight. For instance, When it comes to conflicts of interest, generally, lawmakers are supposed to recuse themselves from voting on bills that would give them a direct financial benefit. You're essentially asking state legislators to practice self-control. Remember, legislators like this guy.

Speaker 5

09:02

Let my people go!

Speaker 1

09:04

Okay! So let's look at that in action. Hawaii's state house is part-time, and 1 of its members, Joe Suki, had a side job collecting $24,000 a year as a consultant to a plastics trade association. So when Hawaii was considering imposing a fee for plastic bags, the onus was on him to reveal his conflict of interest.

Speaker 1

09:24

Let's see how that played out.

Speaker 8

09:26

I have a potential conflict of interest. What is your conflict? I'm a consultant with the American Chemistry Council.

Speaker 8

09:35

They produce plastics. And right now, I'm hired as a consultant to work with Maui County, on this terraform problem. Thank you.

Speaker 5

09:45

Thank you very much. There's no conflict.

Speaker 1

09:48

What? What do you mean there's no conflict? He was being paid by the plastics industry. Unless in Hawaii, conflict of interest means both conflict of interest and not a conflict of interest.

Speaker 1

09:59

You know, like how aloha means hello and goodbye. That's the only fucking acceptable explanation. Now, to be fair, most states have ethics commissions, but an investigation into how effective they are gave grades of D or F to 28 out of 41 of them. And remember, if you fail an ethics test, that's doubly bad, because there's no fucking way you didn't attempt to cheat on it.

Speaker 1

10:24

And yet, and yet somehow, with lax rules and terrible oversight, some state legislators still managed to get in trouble.

Speaker 9

10:33

In Massachusetts, 3 successive speakers of the House have been indicted or convicted, not to mention the lawmaker who took a bribe from an FBI undercover and stuffed the cash in her bra.

Speaker 1

10:45

Stuffing bribe money in a bra is sad for 2 reasons. 1, you're corrupt, but 2, the amount of money it took to corrupt you fits inside your bra. Meanwhile, meanwhile, out in California, State Senator Leland Yee was arrested in March on charges of arms trafficking and wire fraud, to which he's pled not guilty.

Speaker 1

11:05

But that's not even the most interesting part.

Speaker 3

11:08

Ye was arrested Wednesday along with suspected Chinatown gang figure, Raymond Shrimp Boy Chow.

Speaker 1

11:14

Okay. Okay. So, first, that's amazing. -♪ ♪ -♪ And secondly, how is that the photo they used of Raymond Shrimp Boy Chow when this 1 also exists?

Speaker 1

11:27

Where he looks like an early 90s Steven Seagal movie villain. Come on, news! Why would Raymond Shrimp Boy Chow have a photo like that taken of him unless he wanted it used when he was inevitably arrested for arms trafficking 1 day? Do the right thing!

Speaker 1

11:43

And some state legislators get in trouble in the most pathetic possible way. Take Rhode Island's Dominic Ruggiero, whose political career managed to weather him being arrested for allegedly shoplifting condoms from a CVS at the age of 41 while in office, and who in 2012 was pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving.

Speaker 10

12:05

When police were questioning State Senator Dominic Reggiero, his Senate colleague, Frank Ciccone, pulled up to the scene. Ciccone allegedly told 1 of the patrolmen, quote, you think you got pension problems now. Wait till this expletive is all done.

Speaker 10

12:20

This guy voted against you the last time, it ain't gonna get any better now. -$HARD POP MUSIC

Speaker 1

12:25

PLAYING- It happened, everyone. I think we just hit peak Rhode Island. Think about it.

Speaker 1

12:31

A legislator called Ruggiero being pulled over by police, while a fellow lawmaker called Chacon swears at them about pensions. The only way that could be more Rhode Island is if they were all somehow clans. And... And yet, you have to remember, all the people you've seen were elected to bodies where legislation actually gets passed.

Speaker 1

12:52

A lot. And whilst most people may ignore these bodies, corporations certainly don't. In fact, they've taken advantage through a group called ALEC. And yes, Alec sounds like the name of a high school lacrosse player who just got baked and wrecked his dad's Saab.

Speaker 1

13:07

But, but incredibly, it's actually even worse.

Speaker 2

13:10

For more than 30 years, a private, tax-exempt organization called the American Legislative Exchange Council, ALEC, has brought state lawmakers, conservative think tanks, and corporate interests together to write model legislation to be introduced and passed in state houses across the country.

Speaker 1

13:29

It's basically a conservative bill mill, which has helped develop model legislation from Arizona's notorious SB-1070 immigration bill, to bills expanding private prisons, payday loan companies, and for-profit colleges, all of which we've talked about on this very show. In fact, I'm going to list Alec in the credits for our show as associate producer of creating horrifying things for us to talk about. Great work, Alec.

Speaker 1

13:52

See you at the end of season wrap party, you pieces of shit. -♪ ♪ -♪ The thing is, Alec is everywhere. Roughly 1 in 4 state legislators are members, and it's not hard to see why. Halleck makes their jobs troublingly easy.

Speaker 1

14:08

Here's their model electricity freedom bill, which at 1 point says, be it therefore enacted that the state of, insert state, repeals the renewable energy mandate. So, as long as you can remember and spell the name of your state, you can introduce legislation. And I think it's fair to say that most of the people we've seen so far tonight could probably do that. And some legislators don't even bother hiding Alec's fingerprints.

Speaker 1

14:35

Just watch a Minnesota lawmaker get confronted by 1 of his colleagues.

Speaker 11

14:39

I'm just curious, does it have, does the legislation have some connection to Alec?

Speaker 9

14:45

Representative Adkins, I'm not sure why we're pursuing this course of questioning. This bill is my bill, it's not Alec's bill.

Speaker 11

14:52

Well the reason I ask is because earlier you passed out a handout that says Gotwalt at the top and it says Healthcare Compact and there's a logo right in the middle of that page. And I went to the ALEC website, and there's exactly the same font, the same size, and the same logo. I mean, literally, it's verbatim.

Speaker 1

15:14

Look, I hate to sound like Billy Baldwin's agent, but you can't just copy everything that Alec does. It's pathetic. At this point, at this point, it's clear.

Speaker 1

15:30

Between the bad behavior and the lack of accountability, states are not so much the laboratories of democracy as the frat houses of democracy. And yet, they get no attention. And perhaps that's because it's very hard for us to be angry with people whose names we don't know. And if you're thinking, well, okay, now I'll pay more attention before going to vote on Tuesday, that's great.

Speaker 1

15:48

Unfortunately, for many of you, it's too late. Because an estimated 25% of the candidates on Tuesday are running unopposed. Their sole political asset is that they exist and they're going to win. So with that in mind, with that in mind, let's call some races, because you know what?

Speaker 1

16:06

Even though polls don't close for another 2 days, and most people haven't even started voting yet, with 0 percent of precincts reporting, we can call some winners. So let's do it. Let's do it. Remember the Florida dwarf-tossing guy?

Speaker 1

16:22

His name is Rich Workman. He's running unopposed, so he wins. Remember the lady in Oklahoma with the interesting theories on black prison population? Winner!

Speaker 1

16:30

The Islam is a cancer guy? Winner! The alleged drunk-driving Rhode Island condom thief and his angry friend, winner, winner, chicken dinner. And this is just the beginning, because we can call over a thousand races across America.

Speaker 1

16:45

He's a winner, she's a winner, all these people are winners, so congratulations to all of you for defeating the very concept of nothing. Congratulations 1 and all. We look forward to you wielding a terrifying amount of influence for the next several years, safe in the knowledge that no 1 will be paying any attention.

Speaker 5

17:15

You