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Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power | Lex Fridman Podcast #287
1 hours 39 minutes 8 seconds
🇬🇧 English
Speaker 1
00:00
If you and I were able to go into Skyrim, right, and walk around and live together, would we make love? No, no, no, no, man, don't go there. Okay. No, no, no, no, because we like girls, man.
Speaker 2
00:13
The following is a conversation with Bobby Lee, a standup comedian and podcaster and 1 of the funniest humans on the planet. And just someone who brings joy to my heart with a mix of non-sequitur absurdity, darkness and the singing voice of an angel. In all seriousness, Bobby is just a beautiful human being.
Speaker 2
00:33
I've been a fan of his for 20 years, since his time on MADtv to today with his podcast, Tiger Belly, that he does with his other half, the love of his life, Kalilah, and the podcast, Bad Friends, that he does with Andrew Centino. This is the Lex Friedman Podcast. To support it, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now, dear friends, here's Bobby Lee.
Speaker 2
00:58
I've been a fan of yours for many, many years. I think you're 1 of the funniest people in the world. I've been a fan since Matt TV days 20 years ago to today with Tiger Belly. So given that, given your status as a world-class comedian, How did it feel that you were not invited to Andrew Schultz's wedding and I was?
Speaker 1
01:21
What, you were there?
Speaker 2
01:22
Yeah, I was there. I was the least funny person there. And the whole time I was thinking, isn't that funny that Bobby Lee's not here?
Speaker 1
01:32
Yeah, all my life I always felt like people didn't like me and they didn't wanna invite me to things. You know what I mean? I think that's fundamentally the reason why I do what I do.
Speaker 1
01:42
So it really did hurt a lot. And I had resentments. I did some revenge fantasies about how I'm gonna get revenge on him and stuff. Yeah, on him specifically.
Speaker 1
01:53
Him specifically. Okay. Like have a big wedding, invite everyone, you know what I mean, except him, stuff like that. Yeah.
Speaker 1
02:00
And then just write him a letter like, see that's how it feels or whatever. But instead of that, cause I'm in therapy and stuff, I'm just kind of like trying to let it go. What'd you do there? This right here, why'd you do that?
Speaker 2
02:11
I forgot to start the timer. And now it starts. You wanna start over?
Speaker 1
02:14
Yeah, let's do this.
Speaker 2
02:16
Let's do it again. Take 2. No, you still feel like an outsider?
Speaker 2
02:20
Your exception is successful, me, domain. You still feel?
Speaker 1
02:23
Yeah. You know, I'm doing a Netflix show tonight with Andrew Santino at the Comedy Store and this and that, but like last night, you know, I just felt like I wasn't a part of, in fact on stage I go, I even mention it, I go, Netflix, they don't like me. You know what I mean? And I just say things like that, they're not true.
Speaker 1
02:42
And this is something that I wanna correct with myself because I have this internal dialogue that's based on just the past and 99% of the things that go on in my mind aren't true and I'm just at a point in my life where I don't wanna live like that anymore.
Speaker 2
03:00
Really, because I'm the same way, I'm deeply self-critical all the time. Yeah. And that's kind of an engine that drives you to do stuff.
Speaker 1
03:08
Yeah, but it doesn't give you the kind of freedom that I would like. Don't you want to be truly free? Free from your mind?
Speaker 1
03:16
Free from negative thoughts? No, I'm free part of the day,
Speaker 2
03:21
but some of the day I spend being extremely self-critical and that drives you, because I'm afraid I'll become ultra lazy otherwise. Because I love life, I love being comfortable, I love just relaxing. I need very few things in life, and so I'm afraid I'll just get super lazy.
Speaker 1
03:37
Oh, are you a minimalist? Yeah. So if I went to your house in Austin, do you have a couch?
Speaker 2
03:45
I recently got, this is the first couch I've gotten ever, because the guests were complaining, because I also record the podcast there. The guests were complaining there's nowhere to sit. I have no chairs, no couch, I sleep on the floor, like a mattress is on the floor.
Speaker 2
04:01
Not out of principle, I think, out of some kind of minimalist momentum. Minimalist,
Speaker 1
04:08
so we're the opposite in that way then.
Speaker 2
04:09
Oh, so you like stuff.
Speaker 1
04:11
I'm not a hoarder, but, because I can throw things away, but I have a shopping addiction, I think. Like when I'm on the road, like I was in Oklahoma for 2 weeks, I just, I bought a bunch of stuff, you know what I mean? And then, oh my god, I went to Todd Snyder and I bought, I bought these shoes.
Speaker 1
04:29
You know? Because, you know, I.
Speaker 2
04:31
But you're wearing them, so they're actually, you're using them and they're giving value to your life. That's awesome.
Speaker 1
04:36
Yeah, but this is the last time I'm gonna wear these.
Speaker 2
04:38
This is the 1 time?
Speaker 1
04:39
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
04:40
This is like a wedding, but it's a red carpet dress. Who's the designer, Do you know?
Speaker 1
04:45
I don't know anything about it.
Speaker 2
04:46
What are you wearing, Bobby?
Speaker 1
04:47
I don't know what I'm wearing, but because I'm on a native show called Reservation Dogs, right? I just wanna get into the spirit of things. That's your...
Speaker 1
04:54
Yeah, this is, because if I was ever native and I was in a tribe back in the day, you know what I mean? I would have been a gatherer. Yeah, I'm not a hunter. No, I'm gonna weave baskets with the ladies.
Speaker 1
05:06
I wanna pick berries with the ladies.
Speaker 2
05:08
You wouldn't be the chieftain.
Speaker 1
05:09
No, no, no. And I would make, after the hunt, I would probably make some, so some of the guys make love to me. Oh.
Speaker 1
05:16
Yeah, because I'm gay, not just because, you know.
Speaker 2
05:18
Yeah, you have to. Yeah, yeah, I want them to like me. There's a power hierarchy.
Speaker 2
05:21
You gotta know your place
Speaker 1
05:22
in the hierarchy. Yeah, you're alpha male then. I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 1
05:27
Joe Rogan.
Speaker 2
05:28
Joe Rogan is the definition of alpha male?
Speaker 1
05:29
To me, yeah. If there was a picture of alpha male in the dictionary, it
Speaker 2
05:33
would be Joe Rogan. It would be Joe Rogan? Yeah.
Speaker 2
05:36
Yeah, yeah. So you hoard stuff, okay. Yeah, yeah. But you can throw on, what was the last time, let me call you out on that, when was the last time you threw away something that's actually valuable?
Speaker 2
05:47
Valuable. Like something valuable to you or valuable in general?
Speaker 1
05:51
Most things that I buy aren't valuable to me. There are things that are valuable to me that are like keepsakes for my family and stuff that I will keep forever. So like in terms of like an old photo of my father or whatnot.
Speaker 1
06:03
So those kind of things I keep. But when it comes to Aviator Nation sweats, like if somebody came over to my house and goes, hey, can I have 6 of those sweatshirts or whatever? I'd be like, yeah, go take it. My brother's come over to my house and just done a clearance, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
06:19
Like, I'm gonna take this, this, this. I generally don't have a problem
Speaker 2
06:23
with it. So the self-critical voice is serving no purpose in terms of, because you're pretty, you know, I'm a fan of yours, so you're known to be a little bit lazy sometimes.
Speaker 1
06:33
100% lazy.
Speaker 2
06:34
Yeah, so the self-critical voice, don't you think that it's serving a purpose in fighting off the laziness, beating off the laziness?
Speaker 1
06:43
The self-critical voice that I have, I've been able to compartment, how do you say it? Compartment? Yeah, however you say it.
Speaker 1
06:50
Yeah. You're free. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in a compartment, right?
Speaker 1
06:56
And I'm able to like, I'm a good avoider. I'm good at avoidance. So for instance, right now, to avoid, I've been playing Stardew Valley. You know what that is?
Speaker 1
07:08
No. It's a phone
Speaker 2
07:09
game or?
Speaker 1
07:10
No, it's a, you can play it on your Switch, but it's on the Xbox, and it's a farming simulation game. And so I like to farm, you know what I mean? And so playing video games and doing stuff like that distracts me from what really is going on.
Speaker 1
07:24
Okay, you've mentioned elsewhere,
Speaker 2
07:26
in terms of video games, Elder Scrolls.
Speaker 1
07:28
Yeah, did you play that? Yeah, of course,
Speaker 2
07:30
it's probably my favorite game. If I could live in a world, you played Morrowind and Skyrim.
Speaker 1
07:35
I played Oblivion. Oblivion. I played a little bit of Morrowind, but I didn't like the graphics back then, but I really played the, can I swear on this podcast?
Speaker 1
07:44
Yeah. I played the fuck out of Oblivion and Skyrim. Like 8 characters, played it all the way through, I have to do all the quests, that type of thing.
Speaker 2
07:53
What's your favorite thing about those games? Why did you spend so much time in
Speaker 1
07:58
that world? Because I like games that you can grind.
Speaker 2
08:02
What do you mean by grind?
Speaker 1
08:04
So like Stardew Valley, for instance, right? There's a lot of- Back to the farming. Back to farming, right?
Speaker 2
08:09
It's the
Speaker 1
08:09
same thing as Skyrim, the reason why I like it. There's a lot of like, I have to collect a lot of these things. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
08:16
I have to just constantly pick things up, you know what I mean? Like for instance, in Skyrim, there's a mushroom called blisterwort mushroom that you can pick and then you can make it into some sort of formula, right, potion?
Speaker 2
08:28
Yeah, the potion, yep.
Speaker 1
08:29
So I would spend like literally human 12 hour days just going to every cave and picking up as much blister work as I could. Like that kind of grinding. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2
08:41
Yeah. So you're actually the randomly generated quests that these games do, that's designed for people like you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't get bored.
Speaker 2
08:49
That's the fun.
Speaker 1
08:49
Yes, that's the fun for me. Okay. Yeah, there's always something to do, and I find, like when you play a game that's linear, like there's certain games where you have to go this way.
Speaker 1
09:00
Right? I don't like games like that. I like open world games where I can make choices and I can grind if I want. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
09:06
Would you stay in that world if you could live in that world in the Elder Scrolls world? That's how I feel. In reality or become like an animated thing in there?
Speaker 2
09:17
Oh no, say like virtual reality.
Speaker 1
09:18
We're moving towards that direction.
Speaker 2
09:20
If you look at Skyrim, you mentioned graphics, it's starting to get realistic. Yeah. Like I'll sometimes just walk around, I mean it's been a while, but I'll just walk around in Skyrim.
Speaker 2
09:32
You can, there's code you can turn off enemies and you just walk around. You can just listen to music and just walk around.
Speaker 1
09:38
That's what you did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would do that.
Speaker 1
09:42
Wouldn't you do that? Would you do it with me? Yeah, sure. We would have
Speaker 2
09:45
a house together? Oh, I mean live, I thought walk around.
Speaker 1
09:48
No, no, no, if you and I were able to go into Skyrim, right, and walk around and live together. Would we make love? No, no, no, no, man, don't go there.
Speaker 1
09:58
Okay. No, no, no, no, because we like girls, man. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2
10:01
But It's not gay. You told me it's not gay.
Speaker 1
10:04
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you and I would.
Speaker 2
10:06
I would hunt, you would gather.
Speaker 1
10:08
But in that world. Oh, there's no hunting. Yeah, there is hunting.
Speaker 1
10:12
I would, because we don't have to find a bandit. We have to fight. I'm not gonna gather a bandit. I'm gonna hunt them.
Speaker 2
10:18
But I thought you said it's all but the potion,
Speaker 1
10:20
you don't need the bandits. Okay, well, we could do this. You could be the guy that defends our place, right?
Speaker 1
10:27
I'll gather all the blisterwort, all the whitecaps, all the mushrooms, I'll get all the food, you know what I mean? I'll go to Whiterun, remember Whiterun? Right, or Winterhold, and I'll do all the crusts that have nothing to do with, you know what I mean? So no dragons, though?
Speaker 1
10:43
No dragons, but we would have a banquet, we'd invite the Dark Brotherhood, right? The Fighters Guild, we'd definitely invite them. Mages Guild, we'd invite them. Are you a thief kind of guy?
Speaker 1
10:53
I'm a thief guy, yeah, I'm a thief guy for life.
Speaker 2
10:56
And you still wouldn't invite Andrew Schultz to that?
Speaker 1
10:59
No, No, no, no. But what a piece of shit though, huh? Because let me just say something, okay?
Speaker 1
11:04
I just wanna get back to that, okay?
Speaker 2
11:05
Okay, sure.
Speaker 1
11:06
So I met him at the Montreal Comedy Festival and him and I are kindred souls. We really connected. Yeah.
Speaker 1
11:15
And he did my podcast. He's done it several times. Done his. We've communicated on the phone, this and that, and to me, and then he invites Whitney Cummings, which Whitney is a good friend of mine, but what I'm saying is that I know Andrew as well as Whitney knows him.
Speaker 1
11:31
I don't think that Whitney knows them more than I do. Right?
Speaker 2
11:35
What if it was a competition, like it was a tie, you know, like, and be it like a Bobby Lee versus Whitney. Yeah. What, in what way do you think she's better?
Speaker 2
11:45
In what way do you think you're better?
Speaker 1
11:47
I think it's all about gender optics. Okay. Right, so she's a comedian, she has all these alpha males coming and he's like, all right, I have 1 more seat left.
Speaker 1
11:58
Yeah. Whitney or Bobby, but Bobby is, although I don't think there was a lot of Koreans there, so he could've used that card. This is true. Right, but I think he went for, you know, Whitney's a woman, it's better for optics.
Speaker 2
12:09
Okay, so she was a diversity hire for the wedding. Yeah, I see. It was pretty fun.
Speaker 2
12:16
I have to say, I don't, it was Joe Rogan. Yeah, I know. His wife.
Speaker 1
12:21
I get it. And then Whitney. Are those the only comedians that were there?
Speaker 1
12:27
I spent the whole time talking to Joe, so I think,
Speaker 2
12:30
no, I don't think there was that many comedians. So I'm kind of joking about, it was a pretty, pretty small wedding.
Speaker 1
12:36
So yeah. What do you talk to Joe about?
Speaker 2
12:38
First of all, we're both grapplers. So we talk a lot about jujitsu. We talk a lot about, I'm a grappler.
Speaker 2
12:44
Are you? I was on the
Speaker 1
12:45
wrestling team in high school.
Speaker 2
12:46
Yeah, I know, I
Speaker 1
12:47
know this. As a grappler, to you, if I don't know jujitsu, is there only 1 kind of grappling that you like? Yeah, there's levels to this game, I think.
Speaker 1
12:54
I just talked out,
Speaker 2
12:55
no, no, no, there's nothing more. That's a surprising fact that you've dropped that. It almost feels like a lie, Because you've said that before that you were a wrestler in high school, it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1
13:07
Well, it's funny that you say that, because, and I'm gonna cause a little controversy here. But Joe Rogan, 1 time came to me, when he lived in LA, this is years ago, he said, you're a liar, you've never grappled. And I go, yes I did, you're a fucking liar, no you didn't.
Speaker 1
13:24
And at that time, I didn't have any photos to prove it, but if you look at my Instagram, I have photos. That I was a grappler. Of you as a young man dressed in a singlet or what? On the wrestling team.
Speaker 1
13:36
On
Speaker 2
13:36
the wrestling team.
Speaker 1
13:36
If you go to the fucking, sorry, if you go to my fucking high school, you're right, I was on the wrestling team For 3 years.
Speaker 2
13:46
I'm not gonna go to your high school. So is there actual photo evidence of you?
Speaker 1
13:49
Yeah, you know what? You're you're being like Rogan right now and I you know me it really is How
Speaker 2
13:54
do we know it's not photoshopped?
Speaker 1
13:55
Oh you can you oh, well you be the judge then dude Okay, so this is my brother and me in high school on the wrestling team.
Speaker 2
14:02
Which, oh, it's you
Speaker 1
14:04
are, yeah. I'm the bottom, that's my brother to the left. I mean, yeah, to your right.
Speaker 2
14:09
Oh, handsome.
Speaker 1
14:10
Yeah, I'm not, that's,
Speaker 2
14:11
yeah. How much do you weigh?
Speaker 1
14:14
Wow. At the time I weighed, I was on the 105 weight category. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1
14:20
But so I was also on the tennis team. What people don't realize is that I'm very athletic. Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 1
14:27
And I resent the fact that people think that I'm not because I'm doughy.
Speaker 2
14:30
You're an athlete. So, which is very surprising to me. Why?
Speaker 2
14:35
That, so I was invited to the wedding.
Speaker 1
14:38
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
14:38
I've also been on Joe Rogan's podcast. He's a big fan of yours.
Speaker 1
14:43
No, I love Joe. No, Joe, when Joe's, and I see each other, we hug and stuff, we talk, I love him.
Speaker 2
14:47
I just talked to him today, said I'm talking to you.
Speaker 1
14:49
This is hilarious.
Speaker 2
14:49
So why, oh, you hug him and you just never?
Speaker 1
14:52
It just hasn't worked out. Like, I don't wanna go like, hey, cause I don't want the rejection. So it's like, if I go, Hey, can I do it?
Speaker 1
15:02
And he goes, I don't know, man, I'm busy, man. I got a lot, I mean, maybe later. I don't want that. So if he said, hey, are you available Thursday this day, fly out, do my podcast, I would 100% do it.
Speaker 2
15:17
And that hasn't happened yet. So interesting.
Speaker 1
15:22
Why is it interesting?
Speaker 2
15:23
I don't know, like I said, you're 1 of
Speaker 1
15:25
the funniest people in the world, that'd be a great conversation, it's just funny it hasn't happened yet. Well, it's like this conversation, it's like, I just learned how to tell time. Yeah.
Speaker 1
15:34
Not like I know how to write digital.
Speaker 2
15:36
You showed up on time today.
Speaker 1
15:37
No, digital. I know how to write digital, obviously, but in terms of the hand clock, I just learned that 6 months ago.
Speaker 2
15:45
How to operate a hand clock?
Speaker 1
15:46
To read a hand clock.
Speaker 2
15:48
Hand clock, okay.
Speaker 1
15:49
Not that I, obviously I'll be able to absorb the information, I just, I'm 1 of those guys that just refuse to learn things if I just.
Speaker 2
15:56
What did you think it was before?
Speaker 1
15:59
I would look at it and I would try to sometimes, like if I was at a train station, and I would look at those old clocks, I would look at it and try to guess, and I would kind of go, I think this is the way, you know what I mean? But like not fully, you know what I mean, really grasp it.
Speaker 2
16:14
So the way ancient people looked up at the sun to try to tell time, you looked at a clock to try to tell time.
Speaker 1
16:20
Right, like for instance, we don't look at the sun, right? So to me it was an obsolete information to me because I'm digital. You already had digital.
Speaker 1
16:29
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
16:29
And So that's somehow comparable to you going on
Speaker 1
16:33
the Joe Rogan? And you, because it's like I don't know much about- Podcasting? No, podcasting I can, but in terms of like the singularity and all that stuff, like I know what it is, you know what I mean, when machines can have consciousness, when is that gonna happen?
Speaker 2
16:49
Soon, are you afraid of robots? See, if you were in Austin, I would show you some robots. Oh, I'd love to.
Speaker 2
16:55
Are you afraid of robots?
Speaker 1
16:56
No, I love it. You love robots. Oh yeah, yeah, in fact, I have this, I think to me, unless they become hostile and it becomes like the Terminator, which I think could happen, right?
Speaker 2
17:08
There'd
Speaker 1
17:08
be a Skynet, we'd have to bring it down, whatever.
Speaker 2
17:10
There's definitely going to be autonomous weapon systems. So a lot of the robotics research is being conducted, funded by the military. You know, the military industrial complex?
Speaker 1
17:21
I know what that is, yes.
Speaker 2
17:22
Yeah, so a lot of the cutting edge research is done, is funded by DOD, Department of Defense, DARPA, and so on. So a lot of the robots will be used in war. But hopefully not most of consumer robotics will be in the home.
Speaker 2
17:38
I'm just trying to terrify you.
Speaker 1
17:39
No, no, no, but can I ask you this though? What you're saying to me is that, as a layperson, is that in my lifetime, that machines will have consciousness.
Speaker 2
17:54
Oh, that I don't know. Computers. I'm 1 of the people, well, depending, you live dangerously, so I don't know how long you're gonna live.
Speaker 2
18:01
So let's put, but I believe that consciousness, yes, could be engineered in a machine. Or at least we can have machines that are human-like and we believe they have consciousness.
Speaker 1
18:14
Can I ask 1 last question about it? Yes. But just 1 more.
Speaker 1
18:18
Will they have the smoothness of skin and will they look realistic?
Speaker 2
18:24
See, I'm 1 of those people that believes that visual appearance isn't the magic. So If you're blind, you can still have a connection with a person. People can fall in love with each other through just letters.
Speaker 2
18:36
So yeah, I know you're mocking me with your entire energy. But yes, I believe that part too. You're talking about sex bots is what you're probably getting. Okay, intimacy.
Speaker 2
18:48
Just friends, friends, but you want to feel the smoothness.
Speaker 1
18:52
Yeah, like a guy, just go, what's up, dude?
Speaker 2
18:54
And just rub his face. Just hug and kiss, like on both cheeks kind of thing.
Speaker 1
18:58
I get what you're saying though, right? Obviously there's no soul, you're right. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
19:02
And I'm just curious to see. You're right, I was going with sex bots, but. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
19:07
Have you seen Whitney Cummings' robot? Yeah, I've seen it. Okay, how did that make you feel?
Speaker 1
19:15
She's a beautiful girl, I just don't find her attractive. The robot or Whitney? I find the robot way more attractive.
Speaker 1
19:21
Yeah, if I had the choice, robot.
Speaker 2
19:23
So you were turned on by the robot. See, I was surprised by the very thing you're saying, which is the realism of the skit. Like it was quite, they did a really good job on that robot.
Speaker 2
19:34
Oh, they did? The life, when it's animated, the life is not quite there. You can tell it's a robot, but just sitting there still, it has a lot of human-like elements. The texture, I don't know.
Speaker 2
19:47
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite fascinating.
Speaker 1
19:48
So they're getting there. They're getting there.
Speaker 2
19:50
But the funny thing about sex robots is most people that get sex robots, they don't get it for the sex. They get it for intimacy. Not sexual intimacy, but just somebody being there.
Speaker 2
20:05
It's the emotional connection, not the sexual.
Speaker 1
20:09
Yeah, I mean, I saw a long time ago a documentary about real dolls and people marrying them. Yeah, and what I was fascinated about is the cuddling, you know what I mean, and then watching TV together and stuff like that, which I find, you know, I've just been able to find human girlfriends and stuff. So I'm gonna.
Speaker 1
20:33
That's really impressive. That's 1 of the reasons.
Speaker 2
20:35
Thanks man. Yeah. Hey, speaking of human girlfriends, I'd love your advice in this direction, but you have an amazing relationship with Kalilah.
Speaker 1
20:46
Yeah.
Speaker 2
20:47
So you 2 are very different. So you host the Tiger Brother podcast together, but there's real love there. There's a real connection.
Speaker 2
20:55
What do you love most about Kalilah? Let's talk about love, Bobby Lee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
21:01
I mean, that's a really pretty deep, I've never really gone down this path.
Speaker 2
21:05
We're gonna walk down that path together holding hands.
Speaker 1
21:08
It's 1 of those things where the first time I met her, it was almost as if I had known her all my life. It was really weird, you know what I mean? There was a trust there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
21:23
That was just fundamentally there that I could trust her and that I could, you know, When I look in the mirror and I see all my character defects and stuff, a lot of those things aren't necessarily things I want to share with people because I don't want to be judged or ridiculed. But with her, I felt comfortable showing those things and I think she feels the same way about her. And then secondly, she's funny. I mean, she made me laugh, and she's hot.
Speaker 1
21:55
It's all, you know what I mean, the perfect, it was like a perfect combination of things. You know what I mean? 1 night we were in bed, and I forgot what the joke was, but she really made me laugh 1 night. She was living in an apartment in Long Beach, and I cackled, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
22:09
And generally, women don't make, I mean, women I'm dating, comics do, don't make me cackle in that way. And then thirdly, she has, she's partly Asian. So it's like, you know, 1 time I dated a white girl and I invited her to Koreatown.
Speaker 2
22:30
Are you about to be racist?
Speaker 1
22:31
A little bit. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
22:35
And what I love about Asian girls is they'll eat something first and ask what it is after, but white girls ask what it is before. What is this? Right? But Kalaya would eat the eyeball, eat everything, go, what did I just eat?
Speaker 1
22:51
I like that.
Speaker 2
22:52
You know
Speaker 1
22:52
what I mean? So it's like, and it reminds me of my mom in that way, in terms of like, my mom growing up just to scare us and freak us out, we'd have a fish and she would eat the eyeball first to see us squirm. And as a kid, that you thought was gross and weird and this and that, but it's like, you know, when Kalila does it, it just kind of like, I don't know, it just Makes me feel like at home in a weird way.
Speaker 2
23:19
It's a little act of fearlessness. I like that. Just put it in your mouth and figure it out.
Speaker 1
23:26
Yeah, that's what I like. And at the end of the day, she also, out of all my girlfriends, and this is gonna sound not strange, but hard to admit, but my career when I met Kalilah was in the shitbox. I could not get anything going.
Speaker 1
23:47
And this is at the time where Ken Jeong, who's a very good friend of mine, very talented, was getting everything. And I just remember going, I can't even get an audition. Like I can't. I would go on the road, Lex, and I would fill half the room.
Speaker 1
24:03
I just couldn't sell tickets. And when I met her, I was just kind of like, maybe this is, I have to find love and open up my world in that way. And she was the first girlfriend that I ever had that looked at me and saw the potential and she said, no, this is not, it doesn't feel right. You're so funny and you're so relevant to me and this is what we're going to do.
Speaker 1
24:29
And so she started Tigerbelly, you know, And then obviously I had the skill set to do it, but once Tigerbelly happened, and then Andrew was like, let's do Bad Friends, And then now things are great. My career is, I'm too busy almost in a weird way. And I feel like she had a lot to do with, like for instance, before I met her, even if I would've get an audition, I wouldn't go because I just wouldn't get it. In my head I was like, I'm not gonna get this.
Speaker 1
25:05
I've gone on a thousand of these and they just never hire me. But she was, so I just didn't go on them for years. And then she was the first girlfriend that said, no, I don't care if you don't get it, right? I just don't want you to be a pussy and I want you to walk through fear.
Speaker 1
25:21
And so she would drag me to these fucking things and I, for some reason, would book them. You know what I mean? So, You know, in that way.
Speaker 2
25:30
She saw the potential of what you could be. She loved you for who you are already. Yes.
Speaker 2
25:36
But also loved you for the potential that you could become.
Speaker 1
25:39
Yeah, and I'm lucky in that way.
Speaker 2
25:42
So on day 1 you could show her, you said you could show your flaws to her? Like you felt like you could be fragile with her?
Speaker 1
25:48
Well, I accidentally farted. Yeah, on day 1? On day 1, you know, because I just, I'm a fart machine, and I have loose cheeks.
Speaker 1
25:57
Yeah.
Speaker 2
25:58
I like how you, for the listeners, you just winked at me. Yeah,
Speaker 1
26:02
I have loose cheeks and- But not in a gay way. Not in a gay way, no. And I was, we were on a couch and we're talking and I kind of adjusted my body.
Speaker 1
26:10
I ripped 1 by accident and she laughed. You know what I mean? It wasn't embarrassing, you know? And also I have a little penis.
Speaker 1
26:19
I have a little penis.
Speaker 2
26:21
It's all relative. Yes, it's very little. But relative to an elephant, everybody's penis is little.
Speaker 1
26:27
Yeah, but I'm not an elephant. I'm a human, you know what I mean? So relatively human, it's very small.
Speaker 1
26:32
And so when she saw it, I thought she was gonna balk at it. And she looked at it as if it was like an orphan. It's a lost child and I wanna take care of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1
26:49
Yeah. Cradle it.
Speaker 2
26:52
Cradle it, yeah.
Speaker 1
26:52
What about you, man? You haven't met anybody like that?
Speaker 2
26:56
Never met a girl, never seen 1 of them. I hear They're nice. When are the 2 of you getting married?
Speaker 1
27:05
We don't know yet. Yeah.
Speaker 2
27:07
Is that something you would like? Yeah.
Speaker 1
27:10
This comes up sometimes. You know, we're in couples counseling. We're working on some issues that we have.
Speaker 1
27:16
Every relationship, even my friendships have issues. And so we're working through some issues and once we get to the end of it, we'll figure it out. Would you like to be a father 1 day?
Speaker 2
27:31
This is kind of couples counseling.
Speaker 1
27:36
Yeah, I do. I do, because I feel like, before I was very childlike, I play a lot of video games, I'm irresponsible, I'm lazy, this and that, right? But, you know, to be honest with you, Lex, in the last 6 months, I've really have come through some breakthroughs.
Speaker 1
27:57
And I'm in therapy, and I'm doing a lot of things and really self-analyzing myself and my behaviors and what I want, my desires. And I think ultimately, yes, I really do. Because it's a life experience that I don't want to be an old man looking back and going – it's something that I've always was interested in and I think it's based on fear because I don't want to scar my child the way my parents scarred me. But at the same time, my parents didn't do the work on themselves like I am.
Speaker 1
28:36
And they were never about self-improvement. They were just about, they were immigrants, you know, and they wanted to put food on the table and after that, they just went about their business. And I'm not like that. I would never be violent toward my kids like my parents were.
Speaker 1
28:53
My dad was very physically abusive, you know, there was a lot of trauma and stuff and so, You know, as a kid I thought, you know, I just would never put my kid through this. So that's why I never wanted it. But I would completely do it differently, you know. Even yelling and those kind of things, I would be very mindful about those things.
Speaker 1
29:15
And I think that I have certain things, you know, I'm not a science-y guy like you, but there are life things that I've learned over the years that I could teach a child, you know, about living in the moment or walking through fear or, you know, things that, you know, things will pass and just different things, you know, that I could, I would be a good listener. And yeah, I would like to do that. So your dad died in August of 2019. Wow, yeah.
Speaker 1
29:46
He did your research.
Speaker 2
29:48
Yeah, it's on your Wikipedia.
Speaker 1
29:51
Yeah.
Speaker 2
29:52
So you said some of it was rough, but what's your fondest memory of your dad?
Speaker 1
30:02
Well, those memories happened later in life. As a child, my fondest memory was my mom, because he never spent time with us, so my mom made him take me out 1 day, and he took me to a park. Like he doesn't, there was no baseball glove or baseball or anything like that.
Speaker 1
30:23
And we sat on a park bench, right? And we just sat there for hours. We didn't talk because he didn't know English that well, and I didn't know Korean. So it's just very basic information being, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2
30:39
How are you? This is how we would, how are you doing? I'm okay,
Speaker 1
30:45
you know? Good, good, good. That type of thing.
Speaker 2
30:48
Yeah, for a long time.
Speaker 1
30:49
For a long time, and then, but the day turned bad because I forgot my jacket there, and he yelled at me. But there's a bit of peace together. At that time, yeah, there was peace.
Speaker 1
31:01
But then what happened was, later in life, when I got Matt TV, and I was doing, in my early years, I'd booked a couple of things. Like in 2000, I did The Tonight Show on Leno, and then I got Matt TV in 2000. And wow, that was over 20 years ago. And that's when my parents kind of went, huh, you know?
Speaker 1
31:29
Because Obviously, there's some nepotism in Hollywood, right? But in my case, my parents were straight up immigrants. I had no connections to Hollywood. And I came up here poor, with no connections, And I built it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
31:47
Through the years, you know? And in that way, I'm very proud of myself because I went through a lot of fucking hell and sadness and desperation and all that stuff. And I persevered and I did all that shit on my own, man. I booked the Tonight Show on my own.
Speaker 1
32:02
I got Matt TV on my own. And when I did those things, my parents were very proud.
Speaker 2
32:11
But before that, did they doubt you? Oh yeah. You're
Speaker 1
32:16
not funny. You never make me laugh. Right, and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1
32:25
You're never gonna make it. You know what I mean? You're gonna be poor all your life. You know, that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1
32:30
But Mad TV, he was proud? Your dad, your parents? Because it was a weekly show, so on Saturday nights, they would watch it. They would?
Speaker 1
32:38
Yeah, and I would play characters that they would understand. Like I did Kim Jong-il at the time. Right, so they loved that. They loved the things that I would do, the physical comedy, and they couldn't believe in their mind.
Speaker 1
32:55
Imagine your parents from Korea coming here, not knowing the language, having a child here, right? And in their minds, that was never an option, right? And so when they see their kid, I guess, on TV, especially, there was no internet too at the time. The internet had just started.
Speaker 1
33:17
So to them they were like, this is a miracle. In fact, when I did the Tonight Show, my dad called me the next day and asked me, how much, he literally asked me this, he goes,
Speaker 2
33:28
how much did you pay them to do it? He thought that
Speaker 1
33:33
I had saved all my money. He thought that Tom Cruise goes up there and goes, here's a grand, thanks for having me on. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
33:39
No, I go, no, they asked me. Conceptually, they were just shocked by it. So when I got it, and then they were watching me weekly, Mad TV, the producer was like, hey, have your dad on. So my dad did 2 or 3 sketches on television.
Speaker 1
33:59
So those memories, I also did a pilot for Comedy Central and he was on my pilot.
Speaker 2
34:05
A pilot for like a show?
Speaker 1
34:06
Yeah, a show. I didn't get picked up, but he was on the pilot.
Speaker 2
34:09
He was in the show?
Speaker 1
34:10
Yeah, he was in the pilot. He was on that TV too, on television.
Speaker 2
34:13
Interesting.
Speaker 1
34:14
Yeah. Oh wow, okay. Yeah, yeah, so it's like he would get residual checks. Yeah.
Speaker 1
34:20
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2
34:21
It was change everything. There was nepotism in reverse.
Speaker 1
34:24
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really nepotism in reverse. And so he, those memories are very, I have very fond memories because he had changed as well. He was no longer that violent kind of a guy.
Speaker 1
34:37
He had softened a lot, you know what I mean? But when he died is when those issues came up, you know, like a freight train.
Speaker 2
34:47
The bad stuff. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1
34:49
And I didn't know what was going on. I was, it was really hard. You miss him?
Speaker 2
34:55
Yeah. How often do you think about him? Every day.
Speaker 1
35:00
Obviously a lot of it's regrets, you
Speaker 2
35:01
know what I mean? Like what kind of regrets? Not having said something or not having had a conversation?
Speaker 1
35:10
It's not regrets, because even if he was still alive, they're just things that are impossibilities because of his culture and the way he was raised. But my regret in life will always be having those types of, even, because I tried, I was with my mom a couple of months ago and I looked at her and tears in my eyes were at a Starbucks. I go, Mom, I just wanna let you know that I'm so sorry that you lived in that house and my dad, you know, and dad hit you and you survived and you stayed in the marriage because of us, right?
Speaker 1
35:47
And you know what her response was? Let's go to Book of the Pebble. She wanted Italian food. Like, it was, it like, there was no, there was nothing there, right?
Speaker 1
36:00
And so my regret is that, you know, that they just would never be able to even grasp the concept of that kind of communication. You know what I mean? And I'll never have it. So that's sad to me, you know?
Speaker 1
36:15
But there's nothing I can do about it. Yeah, that callous that comes with the immigrant mentality, you don't even, that emotional connection is not even there. I've had
Speaker 2
36:25
my grandmother, there's something called Holodomor, which is starvation in Ukraine in the 1930s that you had to live through, she lived through World War II, and there's nothing, like the only way you survive that is the callous. You can't talk about it. People that fought in major wars, they can't.
Speaker 2
36:46
They can't
Speaker 1
36:49
talk about it. My mom, when she was 12 years old, she walked her little sister, my aunt, to school. She forgot a book, so my mom goes to my little sister, my aunt, stay here, I'm gonna go get my book.
Speaker 1
37:02
She ran up, she came back. While she was gone, a military truck ran over my aunt. And my mom discovered her body split in half, in trails, the whole thing. And my mom and my uncles had to go and get rice bags to pick up her, you know what I mean, and then bury my aunt.
Speaker 1
37:21
When you live through something like that, and also the guilt, because my mom believes deep down that if she didn't forget that book, that my aunt would still be alive, right? So she carries all this guilt and this, and to survive all that trauma, you have to build a callus. Back then they didn't have EMDR and therapists and psychologists and any of that, right? So they had to survive.
Speaker 1
37:43
So that's who she is. And it's sad to me that, you know what I mean? That she'll forever live in that torment.
Speaker 2
37:55
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Boy. Yeah.
Speaker 2
38:01
What about your own? What's been the darkest place you've ever gone in your mind?
Speaker 1
38:09
Oh my God, what the, you wrote that down? In my mind? In your mind.
Speaker 2
38:13
Do you ever consider suicide? I didn't write that
Speaker 1
38:16
down. Have you considered it? In the distance. Yeah.
Speaker 1
38:21
I've distantly thought about it. You know, about 4 months ago, I was in a really bad place. I was naked in a hotel room in Arizona. I hadn't eaten in like almost a week.
Speaker 1
38:39
I hadn't slept in over a week. I haven't slept, you know, and I thought I was dying. I was coughing up blood and I was waiting to go into a outpatient psychologist place, you know what I mean, in Arizona, I literally thought I was dying. So recently I was in a very dark place.
Speaker 2
39:01
How much was that connected to losing your father? How much was that connected to rehab and that kind of stuff? Alcohol, drugs.
Speaker 2
39:10
It's
Speaker 1
39:10
all the same thing, dude. It's all the same thing, man. It's all from my childhood, right?
Speaker 1
39:19
The reason why I do stand up is because of my childhood. The hating yourself or being self-critical, that
Speaker 2
39:25
has to do with your childhood. Yeah. So the drugs and drinking
Speaker 1
39:28
is childhood? It's childhood. It's all about survival and protecting your heart.
Speaker 1
39:34
And there are ways that I did that as a kid, like using humor as a defense mechanism, and also avoidance of all emotions, maybe because I just wanna feel. And the reason why comedy is so good, the reason why I was able to survive in comedy is because I can withstand a lot of bullshit and pain. You know
Speaker 2
40:03
what I
Speaker 1
40:03
mean? Like physical, emotional, spiritual pain, I can absorb it, right? But now what's happened later in life is I'm unwilling to do that. I'm unwilling to absorb it.
Speaker 1
40:20
I'm unwilling to carry this weight around with me. And it'll kill me. So I am doing everything I can to free myself of all this baggage. Okay, so how you're naked in Arizona in a hotel room.
Speaker 2
40:37
Face down or face up or on the side? What's your favorite, when you go to a dark place? No, no.
Speaker 2
40:44
On the floor, on the bed or?
Speaker 1
40:46
So what happened was. Bathtub, shower? A fetal position.
Speaker 1
40:50
Okay. I don't lay on my stomach, that's weird. I'm not doing a downward dog or yoga position
Speaker 2
40:55
or anything
Speaker 1
40:55
like that. No, I'm like.
Speaker 2
40:57
On the bed, on the floor?
Speaker 1
40:59
No, what happened was, So I had a relapse, so I was doing drinking all night long. What was the first relapse? What is the first thing you did?
Speaker 2
41:10
Just drank, what, wine?
Speaker 1
41:12
No, I took an edible. Yeah. And that opened the door to drinking.
Speaker 1
41:19
Yeah, And the combination's not good for me. And the excess of the amount is not good for me. I just can't stop, and I do it 24 hours a day. Were you alone?
Speaker 1
41:32
Well, no, I was living with Kaleila.
Speaker 2
41:34
No, I mean, at that moment when you did the edibles.
Speaker 1
41:36
I was alone. No, I took a flight because I was shooting Magnum, I'm on a show called Magnum PI. So I was flying to Hawaii.
Speaker 1
41:44
So I bought edibles. And then right before I was gonna get on the plane, I looked at my girlfriend and said, I'm gonna relapse. I knew. So I got on the plane, I took it, and then literally the next
Speaker 2
42:03
3 months were like a blur. Why'd you know? What gave you the sense that you're gonna relapse?
Speaker 1
42:11
There was a couple of things that happened in my life that were very shocking to me. And I just, and I wasn't going to meetings, and I, you know, it's the same old story. You know, I was not connected to my sobriety brothers and sisters, and I was drifting away, and I...
Speaker 1
42:34
And something in your mind, it was just... I just, the pain was too much. So I did it, and then, so what happened was, now 2 and a half months in, 3 months in, I started coughing up chunks of blood, right? So I was, because I've been a smoker since I was 17 years old, right?
Speaker 1
42:54
And I was smoking so much weed and cigarettes that I would just cough up blood. But then Simultaneously what happened was Bob Sackett and Louie Anderson died, right? And that week when I was coughing up blood, and because of, because I knew them, both of them, I just in my head going, I'm next, because to me everything happens in threes. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
43:18
You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like, and I had convinced myself that I was gonna die, and I was on the precipice of death. And so I begged my people to put me into this place in Arizona, because I knew I needed to go to a really rigorous psychology program to get me out of what I was going through.
Speaker 1
43:42
And also, at that time, when I was in that hotel room, I had not drank or even smoked a cigarette or done drug in a week. I had to wait in LA for this bed to open up, right? So I was coughing up blood, I hadn't slept, I hadn't eaten, right? I was sober, but I was in so much pain.
Speaker 1
44:03
And I slept naked by the door of this hotel room because I thought it would be easier for the maid to discover my body. I mean, that's how fucked up I was. I was just in this prison in my mind, you know? I'm much better now.
Speaker 2
44:22
Can you give some insights to how to get out of that place, how you got out of that place?
Speaker 1
44:27
I think getting sober, first of all, was very important, but that still didn't do it completely. You know what I mean? I still was convinced that I was, and then I went to this place, and I did, you know, this place is a 12 hours a day psychotherapy place where you do 12 hours, you see therapists all day long.
Speaker 2
44:49
So it's like a 12 hour long podcast every day?
Speaker 1
44:53
Yeah, yeah, but with professionals, and they call you on your shit, and they tell you what's real, and they tell you, you know what I mean, You know, I'm going, also dealing with, you know, still my dad, still some of these other things, you know what I mean? And the third thing that happened was when I got back to LA after that place, I got my lungs checked out and I got my physical done and, you know, EKG, my heart, all of it, and I was completely fine. And I quit smoking, I haven't smoked in almost 4 months.
Speaker 1
45:31
Haven't drank and done drugs since then too. So there's definitely a complete clarity. And I have to also admit that this time around, it's just been completely different.
Speaker 2
45:44
Is there still in the distance a fear of relapse and all that kind of stuff, is that still? No. So you feel good?
Speaker 1
45:51
I feel great, yeah.
Speaker 2
45:52
I feel better than I've ever felt. Even when hard shit happens?
Speaker 1
45:57
Yeah, because it's like, I no longer wanna be in that place. And also, on top of it, it's like, it would be a real shame because I've worked so hard to get to this place in my life, not just in my career, with all of it. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1
46:12
I have so much to lose, I have so many people that love me, I just don't want to be there again.
Speaker 2
46:21
Let me ask you, sorry, you've talked about this before, but it's interesting. Let me
Speaker 1
46:25
ask you a question. Do you always wear a suit only for the podcast? Yeah, I wear it in private too.
Speaker 2
46:30
Oh, you do? Not always, no, because I get recognized, unfortunately, so I
Speaker 1
46:34
have to be selective about how I wear. Do you like it when being recognized or no?
Speaker 2
46:40
So because of podcasting, as you probably know, the people that at least recognize me happen to be amazing people. So like, it's an immediate connection. So there's 2 things about that I don't like.
Speaker 2
46:54
So 1, I fall in love with people, and so the nature of interaction is like, well, it's gonna be short. So like you have to say goodbye. And I hate goodbyes.
Speaker 1
47:09
You do. Yeah.
Speaker 2
47:11
And then the other thing is just introversion. Like I just, I'm an introvert. I have social anxiety.
Speaker 2
47:18
I'm nervous about talking to people and so on. So you have to always, I'm walking around always a little bit anxious that there'll be an interaction. But ultimately once it starts, it's fun, it's beautiful, and then the goodbye is what hurts. So both the hello and the goodbye is what hurts.
Speaker 2
47:37
It's the stuff in
Speaker 1
47:38
the middle that's delicious. I think there's a beautiful thing, though, for people like you and I, in a weird way. Because, Number 1, I don't know about you, but I'm an isolator.
Speaker 1
47:49
I don't really like any kind of social thing. Even when I was doing drugs and drinking, I never do it with people. I do it privately in a garage. And secondly, my girlfriend and I watched The Northman, the movie The Northman.
Speaker 1
48:10
No, what
Speaker 2
48:10
is it? Does it tell me the plot line? You haven't even
Speaker 1
48:14
heard of The Northman?
Speaker 2
48:15
I have not heard of the Northman.
Speaker 1
48:17
It's Eggers, he did a movie called The Witch. He also did a movie called The Lighthouse. You ever seen The Lighthouse?
Speaker 1
48:23
Okay, you watch movies? No. You've never seen a movie?
Speaker 2
48:27
I've seen The Godfather.
Speaker 1
48:28
Yeah, I bet you money you've seen Dr. Zhivago. Yes.
Speaker 1
48:32
You have? Yes. Yeah, you like historical sweeping. Yeah, Schindler's List.
Speaker 2
48:37
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
48:38
If it's not historical or sweeping, you're not gonna like it. All right, so how do I explain? It's basically a Viking movie.
Speaker 1
48:45
Okay. Yeah, yeah. And 1 of the Skarsgard, I don't know, Skarsgard brothers is in it, Bjork's in it, Willem Dafoe, Nicole Kidman, and Ethan Hawke, and it's a Viking revenge movie. So why
Speaker 2
49:00
does it make you think about isolation?
Speaker 1
49:01
No, because, no, what I was going to say is when we went to the movie theater, right, afterwards there was a kid sitting next to me, and he just looks at me, because I guess he didn't know I was sitting next to him or whatever, and he just went, you know, hey dude, I just can't believe you're sitting next to me, and you're my hero, and I'm doing comedy and it's really hard. So I was able to give him some encouraging things, because that's who I am too, you know what I mean? I want to help people and I also, you know, the idea that he likes me because he also spouted off specifics about my life, about my comedy and this and that.
Speaker 1
49:46
So he definitely was a fan And I was able to, you know, I'm not, even if I become Joe Rogan famous or that big, you know what I mean, I'm always going to say hi to people, I'm always gonna take photos with people. I like that part of me. It makes me feel also that I belong in a weird way because I felt so invisible before I did comedy.
Speaker 2
50:12
You know
Speaker 1
50:12
what I mean? I felt invisible. It puts me in the game of life, I think, in a weird way.
Speaker 1
50:18
So I think it's good for you as well.
Speaker 2
50:20
Yeah, it's a little moment of experiencing love. It does feel like celebrating life together. You smile at each other and so on.
Speaker 2
50:30
Although you did say, I think in a recent podcast, that people recognize you, but recognize you incorrectly.
Speaker 1
50:38
That I don't like.
Speaker 2
50:40
That is
Speaker 1
50:40
the opposite of love. Okay. Yeah, that I don't like, loved you in the hangover.
Speaker 1
50:48
Yeah. Or this is what I don't like. This is why I hate this. Some guy will like me, right?
Speaker 1
50:55
I'll take a photo, and then other people will go, huh, he's somebody, and will walk up to me and go, hey, so why did he take a photo? You know what I mean? I want a photo. And then you're like, no.
Speaker 1
51:07
I don't, would you do that? No, I don't like that.
Speaker 2
51:10
No, no, no. But I do like the experience where maybe there's a couple, a guy and a girl, boyfriend and girlfriend, and the guy is a fan and the girlfriend has no idea. And it's always a funny interaction.
Speaker 2
51:25
Because she's like trying to figure out what is happening here.
Speaker 1
51:28
And it's always beautiful to see.
Speaker 2
51:30
But what
Speaker 1
51:30
if the guy, when the guy explains to his girlfriend who you are, do you feel uncomfortable about that? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2
51:36
yeah, yeah, yeah. It loads, the information is transferred quickly and she starts to understand, because she's not used to her boyfriend being excited about a stranger. Yeah.
Speaker 2
51:46
It's like, what's happening here? So it's a fascinating little dynamic that's beautiful. It's like the spread of information happens right there in real life,
Speaker 1
51:54
it's beautiful. It's mostly though, would you say that it's probably usually men that recognize you or? No, but men, the thing I've discovered is men are more likely to approach aggressively, right?
Speaker 1
52:09
Women recognize you, they have a different way of like double take. They don't want to invade your space. Guys are like, bro.
Speaker 2
52:19
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They come in with a hug. I had a South by Southwest, had a guy, I was just walking to a 7-Eleven, I go to a 7-Eleven a lot, my favorite spot.
Speaker 2
52:31
7-Eleven? 7-Eleven, yes. Why? Sugar-free slushie, I think.
Speaker 2
52:36
For happiness, I find happiness at a 7-Eleven. So adorable. Late at night. And he came up and, you know what, can I tell you something that happened to me?
Speaker 2
52:45
I haven't told anybody, this never happened to me before. I was outside of a 7-Eleven in Austin, I'm not gonna say which 1, and there was a gentleman that approached me, this was at 3 or 4 at night, which is usually when I go, I program all night and I just like to go and take a break. He approached me in the way that maybe somebody who recognized me approached me. He did a double take, he walked past me and then walked back and then looked at me and I went into the 7-Eleven, I thought that's weird.
Speaker 2
53:17
And then I came out with my slushie. And then he approached me and he said, can I give you a blow job? So I have never. I have.
Speaker 2
53:36
I have. I have. I have.
Speaker 1
53:37
No, really?
Speaker 2
53:38
Yeah, so the energy he put, I've never had.
Speaker 1
53:40
Were you wearing a suit? No. Okay.
Speaker 2
53:42
I was wearing like a sweatpants and I was very kind of like hiding from the world type of thing. I've never had anybody approach me
Speaker 1
53:51
that way, but the energy he put, the love he had in the approach, I thought he would be like... Love you on Rogan?
Speaker 2
53:59
Yeah, love, yeah. Something like love, some kind of, and then he just said, can I, I'm forgetting the exact wording because it wasn't, the wording was such that he wasn't, he wanted to make me happy? He didn't want to make himself happy, he wanted to make me happy.
Speaker 2
54:19
I forgot, can I give you a blowjob? I think that was the thing. Because if he said, can
Speaker 1
54:24
you give me a blowjob, it would be weird. It would be very different.
Speaker 2
54:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I think there's a more aggressive way of phrasing that, but he presented himself, see I forget, it was almost like gentle and poetic. And I was like, I just stuttered and said, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 2
54:42
I just moved past.
Speaker 1
54:44
That's what everyone does. Yeah, no thank you to
Speaker 2
54:47
a blood draw proposition.
Speaker 1
54:47
Well, I would probably stutter, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 2
54:50
In my mind, I was like, is this a threat? Because it's Fortnite. I wasn't exactly sure.
Speaker 2
54:56
I mean, I've never experienced this. I imagine this is what sort of women often experience, that kind of the danger, the constant threat all around you. But I've never, it was a funny little moment. I didn't know what to do with it.
Speaker 2
55:10
That happened and I go to that 7-Eleven often looking for the guy. Because now I would say yes.
Speaker 1
55:19
There used to be a steam room in Beverly, on Beverly Boulevard, and my brother and I walked in there once, and we walked in, and there was a man sitting there, erection, and his dick was so big he was jerking it off with both hands, and we kind of walked in and he goes, what's up? And he just did it. And we just sat there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1
55:41
Because it was not aggressive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that was the same feeling, you sensed that it wasn't an aggressive thing. Yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker 1
55:49
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a kind, he was just minding his own business and he threw it out.
Speaker 2
55:54
But it wasn't also, it wasn't sexual either. It was like, it was like, it's just, you know, it's just like, it's like love or something. Yeah.
Speaker 2
56:03
I felt like, it's almost like, can I give you
Speaker 1
56:05
a hug? Right, then why don't you just take it?
Speaker 2
56:09
I keep looking for it, next time I see it, but not in a gay way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to be clear about that.
Speaker 2
56:15
Did you
Speaker 1
56:15
grow up in Russia or Ukraine? Russia. Russia.
Speaker 2
56:19
Yeah. But
Speaker 1
56:20
your great grandmother, your grandmother was in Ukraine.
Speaker 2
56:22
My father is Ukrainian. Oh, your father is Ukrainian. My grandmother is Ukrainian.
Speaker 2
56:26
So if you just look at the full family tree, it's about half and half is Russian.
Speaker 1
56:29
There's a
Speaker 2
56:30
lot of conflict with you right now. The internally, yeah. Let me ask, you've talked about this before, but I'd love to sort of re-explore this as Carlos Mencia.
Speaker 2
56:40
Oh my God, why? Why go there again?
Speaker 1
56:45
I'm willing to do it, but do you like Carlos?
Speaker 2
56:48
Well, first of all, I'm friends with Joe, and I remember being a fan of, I'm outside of this
Speaker 1
56:54
whole world. I remember thinking Carlos was funny. So just as a fan,
Speaker 2
56:58
I was like, oh, funny. And then I remember all this big controversy about him stealing jokes. And because I'm a fan of yours, it's such an interesting human dynamic.
Speaker 2
57:11
And I'm a fan of friendship and loyalty. And you had a great podcast conversation with him. It was tense. It was
Speaker 1
57:18
so tense.
Speaker 2
57:19
It was very tense.
Speaker 1
57:19
Yeah.
Speaker 2
57:20
But it was interesting. And it kinda, well, it makes me think of you talking to your father on that bench.
Speaker 1
57:29
Yeah, That's essentially what it was.
Speaker 2
57:31
Some of it wasn't getting through, but maybe, how do you feel about that whole thing about the guy? I mean, he gave you, he's a friend, he gave you a lot, but you're also a comedian, so stealing jokes is no good, but also there's like a, I don't know, all the tensions in your heart about all that whole thing. How do you feel about it?
Speaker 2
57:56
Do you forgive him?
Speaker 1
57:58
Okay, let's just, let's go back to, it's very Shakespearean in a very weird way, right? Because there's some betrayal there, you know what I mean? There's a lot of drama when it comes to that situation.
Speaker 1
58:11
Again, also, I'm a very loyal guy. I've had the same manager since the late 90s. And I've had every gigantic manager wanna sign me, even though my manager is great, right? She's in a big company, right?
Speaker 1
58:28
And there's only so much she can do. And maybe, you know what I mean, my career would have been different if I would have signed with a bigger management. I don't know, right? But I will never leave her, you know?
Speaker 1
58:39
I'll never leave my agent, Matt, you know? People go, well, you're at CAA, that's amazing. The only reason why I'm at CA is because of Matt Blake. So there are certain loyalties that I have.
Speaker 1
58:50
The Comedy Store. I mean, I generally play the Comedy Store mostly because my loyalties are with them. I don't know if that's a good trait, but it's just the way I am, right? I admire that, yeah.
Speaker 1
59:04
Okay, so when it comes to Carlos, you know, in the early, in the mid-90s is when I met him. I was a doorman at the La Jolla Comedy Store. He brought me on the road. He introduced me to Matt Blake, my agent, right?
Speaker 1
59:18
And he bought me a car, you know, when I couldn't pay rent, you know, and I was really desperate, I could always go to him for money, you know? And he helped me out in so many different ways, right? So, you know, I really appreciate that. Paulie did the same thing.
Speaker 1
59:42
So anyway, and then all of a sudden, and I always knew going on the road with him that number 1, I found it odd that he never had a notebook. You know, usually, you know, comics riff with each other and they write things down. You know what I mean? Me, I'll get together with people.
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